Because
I drove twenty miles to where you are
Just to be alone
After I trusted you
After I believed in the lies that I knew you were telling
After I gave you the shirt off my back
You couldn’t give me a hug?
You couldn’t ask me what I wanted
Instead of getting frustrated and Giving Up
(And that’s another promise broken)
Because your way didn’t work
Instead of spewing abuse and hatred
Because I was crying uncontrollably
Instead of even thanking me for coming through for you
Like I always have.
Sometimes you used to thank me, at least
Because I did everything you asked
Every. Damn. Thing.
And you just kept asking for more
Because you turned out to be shallow
Because you only wanted to use me
Because now that you have money, you don’t need me
Because you left me broken and broke
And falling so fast that
I don’t even notice
The warning signs surrounding the edge
Because when I stepped over the precipice
I thought I was falling into love
Not jumping to my death
I can see the ground racing toward me
I can point out with certainty
Which one of the small rocks will be the one
To pierce my brain first
To end my life
I have time to think back and realize
That I wouldn’t have jumped
But you gave me that push that I needed
I have just enough time before my suicide to realize
That it really should be a homicide
That you killed me slowly, starting the day we met
Before my body collides against the earth
And all I can think of is you.
Gravity crushing my mass to the ground
Is nothing compared to being wrapped up in your arms
The cold, hard ground
Could learn a thing or two from your perfect, strong build
The stones digging through my skin
Are gentler than your fingertips were that one time when I took that curve too fast
And this road rash tearing off my skin?
Pales in comparison to the feel of your hand in my hair on a lazy morning.
Yes
You won
You broke me,
Totally and completely
You have a power over me that I swore I’d never give another person
And all I want,
In this last fleeting instant
Before I’m completely and utterly destroyed
Is the chance to go back to the day we met
And do it all over again.
The Shadow Seeker 